New Service - Rapture Insurance

As we all know the Rapture will occur sometime this coming weekend. This exciting event will mean the good Christian's of the earth will be zapped up to spend eternity in gods grace. Those who don't believe will be left behind.

So for those who are going up to heaven they should be worried about their EVE account. The many ships, data-cores, isk ... what to do with it. You don't want to come back down to Earth along with Jesus only to find your ships stuck in a station that you no longer have access to.

Fortunately for you there is a great service. Me :)

I unfortunately am not a christian and do not believe that Jesus will save me. This, plus a bunch of bad things I have done over the years, guarantees me a place among the 'left behind'. :(

This leaves me in the ideal place to save your stuff.

So simply contract all your valuable EVE stuff to me (for 0 isk)and I will be sure to take good care of it. You can go in peace knowing that your favorite faction fit Tengu will not be stuck in an enemy station.

As a member of the clusterfuck, Toterra has access to most of NC/Goon/CF/Test space (almost all of 0.0), so this is particularly useful for good Christians in those alliances. Simply leave your stuff where it is and contract it to me. I will promise to get the stuff to empire space by the time you return.

It is VERY important that you not waste until the last moment. Scholars are in disagreement as to the exact time of the Rapture. Will it occur everywhere at once, or will it follow the the sun. DON'T take the risk! You don't want to be about to confirm the contract and then be zapped up to space just before submitting.

How can you be sure that I will follow through?

Simple. If all of my christian fundamentalists friends are zapped up to heaven this weekend I will have to come the conclusion that they are in fact right. I will see the light so to speak. It may be too late but I will do what I can to save my soul. One thing will certainly be to make sure that I fulfill my obligations to those Christians that trusted me.

So you have nothing to loose, contract me your T3/faction stuff today for 0 isk, and know that when you return to earth they will be happily sitting in Jita good as new.


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As a bonus service just email me your account info (username and password) and I will make sure your skill queue is kept up to date.
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